Yoked together under a cloud

Marriage, whatever that is, has deep roots in human society, as evidenced in language, so it is worth thinking about changes which might follow if homosexual marriage becomes legal in this country, especially if British bureaucracy will no longer assume that married couple = man + woman (or husband + wife).

My 1993 edition of Chambers acknowledged the use of the term marriage to apply to same-sex couples, & the online version of the OED also allows that “The term is now sometimes used with reference to long-term relationships between partners of the same sex”, but what about all the other words for marriage, or marital relationships, which we have in English? Could they survive any proscription on assumptions about the gender of the happy couple?

The first surprise came with the etymology of the very word marry – which the dictionary says came into English via French & derives ultimately from the Latin mas, maris – a man, though the online OED now casts doubt on this long-standing explanation, saying that other languages have similar words which apply to both young men & young women.

However, for those who cling to the older explanation, to introduce some equality between the sexes, matrimony derives from the Latin for mother – mater.

Nuptials are also more female than male –the word derives from the Latin word nubere, to veil oneself, ie to marry. So to put the connubial into bliss involves, being absolutely literally original about it, to be with veil.

There also used to be a kind of fleecy head-wrap worn by women, which was called a nubia after the Latin word for cloud, not after the ancient Egyptian tribe of Nubians (that would be like calling the tribesmen fuzz-wuzzies).

Bridal means literally bride-ale, after the Old English liquor they used to drink at the celebration – not much change there.

Other words leave gender out of it. Conjugal comes from the Latin word conjux, which can be either a husband or wife, & means yoked together.

The wedding itself comes from a fine Old English word, weddian to promise. And spouse also derives from the Latin word for promise.

Wedlock has nothing to do with being fastened together; the ‘wed’ bit is the promise & ‘lock’ is, according to the OED, the sole surviving use in English of an old suffix -lac which implies some kind of action. (Children in some areas of the Pennines still used to use the word laking for playing when my mother was a girl).

A husband was origianlly a man who had his own house, a wife just a very old word for woman.

The very modern partner is a bit of a mystery, but probably comes from an Anglo-French word parcener meaning a co-heir.

A consort is someone with whom one throws in one's lot.

Helpmeet means someone who is a suitable helper, & mate is just an all-purpose sharing word, possibly something to do with meat.

So there we have it: gender, property, dressing up, getting drunk, promises & looking after each other. I expect we'll have the language to cope with any new-fangled arrangements.