Tim Rushby-Smith, confined to a wheelchair, wrote an interesting article in The Times the other day about being in sole charge of his 3 year old daughter
One thing in particular stood out for me: We are learning together, with Rosalie's risk assessment based on what she knows I am capable of
Yet again something to remind us that we tend to underestimate children today, thinking they need to be nannied & instructed at every turn
I had my own first experience of a 3-year-old’s reaction to disability when my eldest daughter was that age
Her great grandmother, who lived with us, became totally blind when a cataract developed in her other eye. Despite our best efforts we had been unable to persuade her to have surgery for the first cataract, but now we pretty much insisted
She was 84 years old and had never been in hospital in her life. She had always been very active & was mainly responsible for the upkeep of the garden. But she was very thin & the hospital said she needed a week of building up before surgery could be undertaken
Somebody tried to explain to her what would happen, that she would need to lie very still on her back for a couple of days after the operation. She started practising for something else which she had never done before in her life
In a totally alien environment, unable to see, she freaked. Lying still like that, it was just as if she were dead. Her distress was upsetting the other patients, & we brought her home
To be honest we thought that that was pretty much that. Not only would she not recover her sight, but her equilibrium was gone too
After a few days however she started to emerge from her room sometimes, learning to find her way by groping with both arms outstretched
One day I went to investigate a commotion in the living room
My 3 year old daughter had quietly pushed a pouffe into Granma’s way. The noise came from my daughter laughing at Granma’s expostulation as she bumped into it
(Does anyone have such a piece of furniture anymore? And if so, do they call it a pouffe?)
How could my child have turned out to be such a monster?
Suitable admonishment was dished out
But the behaviour continued. And I soon realised that far from being malicious, it was carefully ‘risk assessed’ to help Granma learn. It was a game which both were playing
And sooner than any of us could have guessed, Granma was back tending to the garden again.
Using that useful all-purpose tool which we would doubtless call a machete
