High heels

I lurv this poem about the madness of high heels

It comes from a new book by Michael Roberts*, whose ability with this kind of rhyme reminds me of Clive James Britannia Bright





Bien sûr, I lurv to make les shoes
I lurv les teeny footsies
I ‘ope ze penchant I don’t lose
For torturing ze tootsies.

I make ze ‘eels so very ‘igh,
Les petites filles, zey tumble
But still zey pay to go zis way
It makes me very ‘umble

I don’t know why I lurv ze cries
(I ‘ave since I was seven)
Ze screams of pain now & again
Pour moi, it’s perfect ‘eaven

Le crunch of bones on paving stones
Quelle joie de vivre I’m feeling!
But zey'll be back, it's just a crack
Zey lurv mt sexual ‘ealing.

C’est tres, tres chic, le pointy shoe
I cover with ze rosie
But footsies wide don’t go inside
So chop off all ze toesy!



*The Catty Catalogue of Stylish Casualties

Related post:

Fat dancing feet