Monday, August 06, 2012

Dating confusion


When I were a lass a date involved going to the pictures or a dance, possibly a formal dinner dance such as the annual Young Farmers bash, or sometimes just a walk in the country. A more sophisticated version might involve a concert, theatre, and/or dinner in a restaurant. At the end of the evening the man/boy would probably escort you to your front door, at which point you faced a dilemma: should you let him kiss you goodnight on the doorstep, or (if you lived alone) invite him in for a cup of coffee. The latter would be only polite, especially as he had probably paid for the meal & the entertainment, but there was always the danger that he might consider it a coded invitation to more than you were prepared to offer.

After two or more dates he might graduate to the status of boyfriend with whom you were going steady. You would not go out on dates with anyone else

There might be some (extremely safe) sex involved – hand holding & kissing, but never on a first date. And you never made love, the euphemism of choice at the time (to have sex would have been far too crude), not least because of the fear of pregnancy.

Well that was the theory (or pretence).

Modern couples do not date in this sense – instead they appear to have meetings, which I infer are chaste affairs. When people admit to dating they are, in shocking fact, announcing to the world that they are actually sleeping with each other. The first date has replaced the wedding night.

I still have not grasped all the niceties of this modern language however. If you are dating, is your status still single?

And when does a date become a partner? Only when you start living with each other?

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