I was using a computer in the library yesterday when a young man at the next desk, against all etiquette, asked me how to spell qualifications. Vaguely assuming he wasnt English, I told him. A few minutes later he asked if hygiene had a y. Yes I said, a bit more snappishly
A few minutes after that he apologised for interrupting again, but would I look at the CV he had just written? The friend who was supposed to be helping him had failed to show. Still vaguely assuming he just wanted an 'English' opinion, I invited him to read it out loud, since I couldnt see, not at that distance
It was short - always a big plus in my opinion - just name, some subjects he said he had qualifications in, then personal qualities, ending with And I am a good listener which struck me as a bit unusual for a young man. I just told him it sounded fine
Yes, but is it OK? Casting around for something a bit constructive, I said he should say when & where he got the qualifications
Head down: I got them in prison
Well youve certainly got my attention now!
I was wondering if modern HR jargon might have a coded phrase for this kind of thing, which could get you out of any accusation of trying to mislead without having to put it down starkly in black & white. Have you got any certificates?
Yes, AQAs
What about school?
Oh I didnt get anything there - just a C in [something]
Then he rattled off at least 4 or 5 other subjects he said he had done - But nothing, just a load of Ds & Es
Ds & Es dont count, do they?
OH YES THEY DO, I hissed
His friend turned up just after that so I left them to it
Now there are several things to ponder in this story, including the fact that if he had time to do all those AQAs he must have been in prison quite a long time. But he seemed genuinely to yearn for the stability of a wage (better yet a salary) that he said hed never had. I should like to feel more optimistic for him
But its that Ds & Es dont count that I shall remember
Because he is right. Ministers & media keep telling us so. About failing pupils from failing schools who cannot even manage 5 As or Bs or Cs
