Helena Kennedy has a series on Radio 4 about unintended & unwished for consequences of some of the changes in the law which sincere campaigners have fought for as a way of improving justice, eg for battered women. Those campaigning for changes in the law or in court procedures in cases of alleged rape would do well to take heed.
It is becoming increasingly clear that we need, first, to improve the way such cases are investigated, & secondly, to change the narrative.
We heard on Radio 5 this week about a case of sexual abuse by a step father which was not forensically investigated at all – in terms of scene of crime etc, not sure about medical examination of the accuser; the CPS dropped the case, for insufficient evidence in the absence of a confession. I have also now heard of several cases of ‘too drunk to remember’ where it is clear that these were not stories of women who changed their mind at the last moment. These cases should be investigated with the same thoroughness as other crimes, not just with interviews & intrusive examination of the accuser.
When you think about it, it says something rather good about our country that (however much you, or I, might deprecate the behaviour) women can go out for the evening, get paralytically drunk, or even just very merry, & feel confident that they will wake up safe next morning with nothing more than a hangover to regret.
There have always been, & always will be, predatory men who choose the easy prey & take advantage. We used to call them wolves, now we seem to want to call them rapists. Debutantes passed on to their friends the names of men who were ‘not safe in taxis’, other groups had similar ways of giving a dog a bad name.
Once upon a time (pre drink sodden days), even a confident woman would wonder whether an invitation to a cup of coffee to her escort might be taken the wrong way, though she would probably be thinking only of embarrassing misunderstanding; if he turned nasty & forced himself upon her she might well decide to put it down to experience - & who can blame her. A court case, even one which sends him to prison, does not really seem a proportionate way of trying to regulate such behaviour.
Such men - the wolves - were not admired or approved of – even by other men. But now we have let the narrative get turned round, so that every man can feel that ‘There but for the grace of …’ Any nice man who has ever nervously wondered when is the right time to make a move, in any way, to express his admiration for a woman, can feel sympathy for the guy who found himself with one who suddenly changed her mind at the last moment, or even after the event, & feel that the poor fellow deserves the benefit of the doubt.
It is also time that the ‘can’t stop’ myth got treated with the derision it deserves. I once witnessed a group of men, who were trying to deploy this, reduced to shamefaced silence when asked if they meant not even if their mother walked in to the room. But that is too crude; the message should be that, used properly in happier circumstances, the ability to control oneself can be used in the opposite sense, to the mutual pleasure of both parties involved. A truly manly accomplishment, in other words.
