Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Where are the missing schools?

An article in Monday’s Times by Alexandra Frean contained the following:

“Last year 38 per cent of students achieving straight As at A level were at fee-paying schools, compared to 28 per cent at comprehensives and 16 per cent at grammar schools”

Since that adds up to 82% my first reaction was “Not Again! When will journalists, subs, revise editors, the lot of them, start to be as pernickety about percentages as they are about apostrophes? !!!****”

But other information given in the article made me think that in this particular case all those concerned did know which way up they were

So then the question becomes what are these institutions which produce 18% of students who get straight As at A level?

The answer presumably is sixth form or FE colleges


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Googleisms

In the Land of Google are to be found many small & unexpected treasures for your surprise & delectation

Among those I have found this week:

Wanting to go to my cloud, I typed ‘docs’ into the main Google search box. On the results page, over to the right, was a link to a website offering to show me how to find a doctor in Stockport, complete with maps


Put “rakel tongue” into the search box & you will find links to a variety of useful medical information on diseases of the tongue written or edited by Robert E Rakel MD


“Gol” is, in some languages, the word for “GOAL!!!!!” Especially when scored by a soccer player


The results page for a search for ‘Downloading My Brain’ may solicitously enquire “How old is your brain?”

Abbreviated language

Heard Will Self on the radio this morning speculating about the possibility of writing poetry in txt

I don’t text myself - my thumb ain’ able with tha’


But it reminded me of a popular poem of my youth*

YYUR
YYUB
ICUR
YY4ME!



Telegraphese has not lasted as a form of written language though it produced a few memorable quotes & jokes – notably General Napier’s “Peccavi”



There was no phone service which could be used to inform my husband when he became a father for the first time. We were still in the delivery room when my mother arrived & one of her first concerns was how to word the telegram which, while considerably less than the £10 for 20 words of 1867, was still expensive enough

I suggested “You have a kettle without a spout”, based on what was supposedly the popular way to announce the birth of a son to soldiers on active duty during WWII

My mother did not even deign to reply

Secretly I was very impressed by her “Mother & daughter well”



Related post
I love radio transmitters


* Translation:
Too wise you are
Too wise you be
I see you are
Too wise for me!

Monday, March 09, 2009

Political managers

Matthew Parris wrote a piece for Saturday’s Times which expresses the hope that we may be about to see the end of managerial politics

No more devoted follower of the blinkered cult has arisen than our present Prime Minister” he said.

Which reminded me again of the Auden poem, the last lines of which now seem to offer another clue to the Brown psychology

There has been much comment recently on his apparent inability to proffer the slightest apology for his role in what has happened to the economy

I am not actually an advocate of prime ministerial apologies – which reached their nadir when the last one apologised for the Irish Famine

But is it possible that Gordon Brown thinks that we might start feeling sorry for him, were he to apologise?

And that that is the idea which he really cannot stand

A bad taste in the mouth

The Monty Hall problem is one oft quoted by fundamentalist economists to ‘prove’ that mere humans cannot recognise a rational course of action when it is staring them in the face

It is based on a familiar kind of television game show. The contestant is offered three locked boxes, in one of which lurks a valuable prize. The other 2 contain mere trinkets. The contestant gets to choose which box to unlock

The twist is that Monty Hall the quiz master first opens one of the others to reveal - a trinket (he of course knows what is in each box)

And offers the contestant a chance - change their mind or stick with the original choice

Which box should a rational contestant choose?

The economist’s answer is that a rational man would always change his mind & go for the box which Monty did not open, because the odds are 2 to 1 that the prize lurks in there

There are several ways of working out this ‘correct’ answer.



There was a 1/3 chance that the contestant chose the right box in the first place, so there were 2 chances in 3 that the prize was in one of the other boxes, at least one of which must contain a trinket. The fact that Monty revealed the trinket does not alter the original 1/3 probability that the first box the contestant chose contains the prize versus 2/3 that it did not

For those who really need some convincing it is quite a good idea to take the frequentist approach of listing all the possible outcomes


Many people might think it ought to be 50:50, because at that stage of the game the original box either does, or does not, contain the prize, & the same applies to the box which Monty did not open

The producers of the show, or those who finance it, must hope that most contestants will stick with their original choice, for they will pay out less in the long run of the show

If contestants could get together to agree a strategy they might agree always to change their mind, & divi up the winnings afterwards – though this would require a large degree of trust between them

In reality however each contestant gets only one chance at the game. This is not the long run, it is now or never. Maybe this is the one time in 3

And in a sense the 50:50 assessment is right – he is either right or he is wrong, he picked the prize first time or he did not


If he just chose wrong first time, well that is just the luck of the draw, the rub of the green, plain bad luck


If it does turn out that he was right first time, but that Monty persuaded him to change his mind, then there is a very real chance that the contestant will feel that he was tricked, bamboozled, somehow talked out of his prize

Maybe the rational economist knows that he was right to change his mind




Funnily enough scientists have discovered that the feeling of being cheated evokes the same revulsion response as foul-tasting food & drink. They even have an evolutionary explanation for it

So unless the economist knows he can resist the feeling of being cheated, even when his friends make a point of sympathising with him, why then he is a rational masochist

Because Monty knew all along - there's the rub

Sunday, March 08, 2009

All that I have

This is a poem to make even strong men weep. Like many others I first heard it 50 years ago being recited to Virginia McKenna in the film Carve Her Name With Pride, & have never forgotten it

I have been racking my brains, without success, trying to think of another purely monosyllabic poem. Perhaps that is the reason it appeals so powerfully to men

It was written by Leo Marks




The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours
The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours

A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours




Link

Saturday, March 07, 2009

A moderately amusing statistical anecdote

I usually draft what I write in Word, because it is what I am used to & because it gives me the nearest I can get to a nice blank page of A4, which is what I was used to writing on for most of my life. Somehow the words flow better & I can judge how it ‘looks’ – even though it will look completely different when it gets transformed into Blogger or Google Reader or ….

Just as manuscript used to when it got typed out – goodness, imagine that somebody else had to do your typing for you!

And then different again when (if) it got into print – astonishing how such a great pile of typescript shrinks to such a slender volume

I tend to make use of Word’s autocorrect because I am such a rotten typist. It is worth the chore of having to say, sometimes, Stop it! Undo Automatic Capitalization! (which is especially likely if I have been typing out verse by one of our more modern poets)

I did not realise until last night that this kind service extended to the Greek alphabet, though I suppose it is only logical

I had been writing about something vaguely statistical & needed a σ, something I also know how to do in Word

I spotted, only just in time, that Word had kindly changed my σ into a Σ



Speaking of which, I am ashamed to confess how old I was when I realised that ∫ is simply the old extended S, the one that gives rise to so many jokes when pronounced as an f instead


Link

Things on top

Katherine Whitehorn gave an interesting Point of View about Women on Top last night


But oh dear! “And of the journos who were low paid, 29% were women, only 16% men”


I wonder what the other 55% were? Martians?


I suspect women were both bottom & top in the 29% calculation



Related post
The verb TO BE

Previously in favourite quotations (6)

Facts are stubborn, wilful things. You can arrange them in either logical or chronological order, but very seldom at the same time in both – TS Ashton


I am not old enough to cope with age - Vernon Scannell


Maths is a language, not the language, & its symbols can be explained in other idioms - Natalie Angier


A fundamental rule of journalism demands the insertion of murders - WA O'Connor: A History of the Irish People, 1884


This year’s BBC Proms season is practically oestrogen-soaked, with new works by five bona fide women – Neil Fisher


There are only about 30 people on the planet capable of diagnosing the problem when huge, complex, real-time systems crash - The Times


A judge can decide in accordance with an article of law or according to his intimate convictions; but the one thing he cannot do is fail to decide - Alain Desrosieres


Quarrels would soon be over if all the faults lay on one side - La Rochefoucauld


Mathematics is a way of describing the universe but not necessarily of understanding it - Kip Hodges


The road to unhappiness is counting other people's money - Michael Hintze


There is no culture without a creation myth & Darwinian evolution is ours - Laurence Hurst


It is more shameful to distrust ones friends than to be deceived by them - La Rochefoucauld


Shakespeare has no heroes; he has only heroines - John Ruskin


Science is about creating the alphabet. With art you are creating the words - Marc Quinn


There are plenty of people for whom Oxbridge success represents the high point of their lives - Andrew Brown


If a book does not make its own scope & purpose plain in the course of some 600 pages its author need not try to make them plainer in a preface - Duke of Argyll




Previously in Favourite Quotations
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Friday, March 06, 2009

Out of the shadows

The summer before last I was walking through the shopping centre one evening. It was after half-past-five – most of the shops had closed but there were still quite a few people about

My attention was caught by a little girl, who could not have been very much more than a year old, running along (tottering? teetering?) up ahead. Mum was behind her, a young African woman. I say African advisedly – you could tell by the way she dressed & walked & I doubt that, these days, anyone who had lived in England long enough to learn about paranoid parenting would be so relaxed about such a small child running on so far ahead, even though the area is completely traffic free

The little girl was clearly delighted with herself & you could sense her concentration – just staying upright, I assumed. Until I gradually caught up & could see that her concentration was fixed to something on her right

Just as I realised that she had found her shadow, the little girl made another discovery – the shadow’s arm moved up if she waved. And then, even better, she could make the shadow spread its fingers too!

I felt a wave of memories, of having just the same sort of fun on sunny days long, long ago. Mum was too far away to speak to without shouting, but I turned to share a smile

And remembered Robert Louis Stevenson’s poem, which seems to me an almost perfect poem for children (I have taken the liberty of making one tiny change to bring it in to the C21st)



I Hava A Little Shadow

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow -
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an indiarubber ball,
And he sometimes goes so little that there's none of him at all.

He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close behind me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to mummy as that shadow sticks to me!

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.



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Fuzzy fuzzy wuzzy

Still pondering off & on about whether any more childish names might be considered racist – today if not then

Well I would be very careful, at least, about Fuzzy Wuzzy

Some definitely think it derogatory

Curiously in its origin as a racial term, it referred to Arab tribes in the Sudan

The fact that Kipling wrote a poem with that title probably does not help, at least in the eyes of those who consider Kipling to be an unreconstructed & unreconstructable, imperialist


The Fuzzy Wuzzies often featured in Boys Own Adventure stories, some of which I read as a child if there was nothing better to hand. They might also have figured in playground games as an alternative to cowboys & Indians

If memory serves, the term was also used in the film Zulu

In all these uses however I do not think you can say the term was derogatory, more like a nickname, even perhaps a pet name. They were considered worthy opponents, to be respected as such, even though war is war

There is also the nursery rhyme

Curiously, the version, available on various websites does not match the one I knew, which goes:

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy did not care
Because he wasn't fuzzy,
Wuzzy?
Fuzzy wuzzy bare!

(The last word to be said very loud, accompanied by much tummy tickling, if the child is very small)

All the other versions miss out the bit about how he ‘did not care’ – perhaps because it is considered unkind to men with a comb over or toupé?

However, according to one web site, it is not a traditional nursery rhyme at all, but a popular song from 1944 by Al Hoffman, Milton Drake and Jerry Livingston

I do not doubt that there are plenty of people who have been at the receiving end of the term used in a way which was definitely meant to hurt & insult - particularly perhaps those growing up in the UK in the 1970s & 1980s & the age of the Afro hair style. (I wonder if anyone ever applied it to Kevin Keagan?)

So, definitely best left, at least for the time being, unless you are very sure your companions will understand if you need it & no other term will serve in the context

I would not avoid using the nursery rhyme game however; this ultimately deserves to be uncoupled completely from any racial connotations & become just good word play



Thursday, March 05, 2009

Youth never learns

I think most of us would gulp now at the idea of “Pert Sylvia” talking of “wedlock-scenes” even though she has barely “entered in her teens”

(And be surprised to see that word used in the C18th when ‘everybody knows’ that teenagers were only invented after WWII)

But the C18th psychology seems only too applicable today

Wedlock was presumably pretty soon followed by motherhood, the price you pay, perhaps the price worth paying, compensation or even a gift

If even those awe-ful words, “Til death do part” were not enough to deter her, what hope can we have that “sex & relationship education” will deter her modern counterpart from dreams of motherhood, when school & life seem to have so few other satisfactions to offer

These days she can dispense with the lock since the state will always provide for the child



Early Thoughts on Marriage


Those awful words “Til death do part”
May well alarm the youthful heart:
No after-thought when once a wife;
The die is cast, and cast for life;
Yet thousands venture every day
As some base passion leads the way.

Pert Sylvia talks of wedlock-scenes,
Though hardly entered on her teens;
Smiles on her whining spark, and hears
The sugared speech with raptured ears;
Impatient of a parent’s rule,
She leaves her sire, and weds a fool;
Want enters at the guardless door,
And Love is fled, to come no more.

Attend, my fair, to wisdom’s voice,
A better fate shall crown thy choice.
A married life, to speak the best,
Is all a lottery contest:
Yet if my fair-one will be wise,
I will ensure my girl a prize;
Though not a prize to match thy worth,
Perhaps thy equal’s not on earth.

‘Tis an important point to know,
There’s no perfection here below.
Man’s an odd compound after all,
And ever has been since the Fall.
Say, that he loves you from his soul,
Still man is proud, nor brooks control.
And though a slave in love’s soft school,
In wedlock claims his right to rule.

The best, in short, has faults about him,

If few those faults, you must not flout him.

Nathaniel Cotton (1705-1788)


Link
Related post
Teenage pregnancy

First name terms

Gordon Brown kept calling the president ‘Barack’ in a clip I heard yesterday

Well, isn’t that just the modern informal British way?

Only if he calls the Queen ‘Liz’ – or ‘Lilibet’, just to prove he knows what real intimates call her, or used to when she was a child

Of course there are precedents. John Major determinedly called the father of George W plain folksy George. Mind you, he was making him a gift of a cricket bat at the time

It makes me cringe. It’s just plain rude & ignorant

Americans maintain the courtesy, even when their president is an ex






Link




Related post

GOL's revenge

I feel as if I am peering through fog, writing in mud. My throat is sore, my head full of cotton wool

I have half term flu

Perhaps I am being antisocial, coming to the library. But it is just a Grumbly Old Lady’s revenge

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Arm in arm

When did you last see a couple walking along arm in arm?

It is one of those things which just seem to have gone completely out of fashion. You still see people holding hands, or with arms draped round each others shoulders, so it cannot just be distaste for public shows of intimacy

Perhaps feminism has something to do with it – there’s just too much of a hint of the little woman who needs support?

Or maybe it was the fashion for handbags which made it too awkward

Life events

There was a discussion on the radio the other evening about the morality or propriety of major events which are only live ‘as if’ – the classic music performance at the Obama inauguration was one of those discussed. Lesley Garrett took a particularly hard line – if the audience have paid for live that is what they should get, warts & all

I was thinking this is all a bit too precious, when I remembered The Beatles

Our response to the shocking rumour that The Beatles did not actually sing live on stage any more was simply to refuse to believe it. Even when it was more or less admitted – it had become impossible for the Fab Four to hear each other because of the volume of screaming from the audience – we preferred just to pretend it was not so

One evening back then I emerged from the tube station on Holborn Kingsway at about 7pm one Friday evening to be met by an astonishing sight: hundreds & hundreds of little girls running about in a state of near hysteria

Turned out that The Beatles had been appearing on Ready Steady Go which went out live each week from the basement studios at the corner of Aldwych & Kingsway

The building later became the home of the General Register Office Indexes of Births Marriages & Deaths which had been moved out of nearby Somerset House, & became familiar to many as St Catherine’s House, the place to go if you needed a copy of your birth certificate

The explosion of interest in Family History meant that larger premises were needed & so the Family Records Centre was set up near Sadler’s Wells

Even that is no more. The general public can consult the records these days only ‘as if’ live on microfiche in a few centres. Otherwise they exist in the virtual world of the internet

And nobody would let hundreds of little girls go out unaccompanied in Central London on a dark evening

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Disarray

I think it is (just about) possible to interpret as a favour to us all Harriet Harman’s threat, on the Andrew Marr programme to change the law to claw back Sir Fred Goodwin’s pension

By making so stark & clear just what would have to be done she may have succeeded in making everybody think: Whoa there. Who will they come for next?

You could also say that she very neatly fingered the prime minister ‘who has said it is not acceptable so it will not be accepted’

Then on Monday Ed Balls was on Radio 5 sympathising with a listener whose second child had failed to win a place at the same secondary school as the first. As a parent, I think you're right - siblings ought to be able to go to the same school

But not me guv, as secretary of state I don't make the rules for each local authority, though I'm going to put an end to this lottery nonsense if that's what the person I have asked to look into it for me recommends

And no, he couldn't comment on what Harriet had said because he had spent Sunday mugging up the school admission rules ready for his appearance on this programme ...


Post script One of the best comments I heard - sorry, did not catch the name - was "We spent centuries getting rid of the Divine Right of Kings. We are not about to replace it with the Divine Right of Harriet"

I think I know what you mean

Forestiere is shorthand for mushrooms

– Lindsay Bareham, dinner tonight

The real university scandal

It is beginning to look as if the BBC is having a nervous breakdown


There are two real scandals behind the University Challenge fiasco

First the BBC production/commissioning process which demands that the filming be spread over 2 academic years. (It is not clear what is supposed to happen if a team member, unexpectedly perhaps, has to leave college before the final round – does the whole team have to withdraw or are substitutes allowed?)

But the real scandal is that, according to reports, a young man got a first class degree in chemistry but failed to get funding for a PhD. So he went off to study accountancy instead

That is just what we need to rebuild our economy for the future



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Monday, March 02, 2009

Guard thy rakel tongue

I took down the Oxford Book of Children’s Verse from the shelves at the weekend, on the hunt for something

It’s not something I take down often, if at all, since acquiring it in the 1970’s. Much of the verse seemed disappointingly admonitory to me

So I was rather pleasantly astonished to see the first poem in the book, since we have been subject to so much news & debate about what we may or may not say these days

And it uses a lovely word from my childhood, used in the phrase Many a mickle maks a muckle


It is called Controlling The Tongue, by Geoffrey Chaucer


My son, keep well thy tongue, & keep thy friend.
A wicked tongue is worse than a fiend;
My son, God of his endless goodness
Walled a tongue with teeth & lips eke, [also]
For man should him avise what he speak. [consider]

My son, full oft, for too much speech
Hath many a man been spilt, as clerkes teach; [ruined]
But for little speech avisely
Is no man shent, to speak generally [harmed]

My son, thy tongue shouldst thou restrain
At all time, but when thou dost thy pain
To speak of God, in honour & prayer

The first virtue, son, if thou wilt lere [learn]
Is to restrain & keep well thy tongue;
Thus learn children when that they been young.

My son of muckle speaking evil-avised,
Where less speaking had enough sufficed,
Cometh muckle harm, thus was me told & taught.

In muckle speech sin wanteth nought
*WOST THOU WHEREOF A RAKEL TONGUE SERVETH?
Right as a sword forcutteth & forcarveth
An arm a-two, my dear son, right so
A tongue cutteth friendship all a-two


*Do you know what a rash & hasty tongue is good for?



So next time I hear someone use sexist, racist, ageist, heightist or any other -ist language in my presence, instead of accusing them of an ISM I shall simply ask that they please guard their rakel tongue



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